2009 Mismanagement of The Portland Humpin' Hash House Harriers
The newly elected overlords from the 2010 (XX X) PH4 annual revolt are:
Grand Mattress:
General Manager, overseer of the hash, god or goddess of all that is hump, making sure others do their jobs, calling meetings and stepping up to fill other jobs is someone is unable.
Current GM: Ditch Bitch (jenn.mulgrew@yahoo.c©m)
Religious Advisor:
One of the most important jobs in the hash. Maintains the integrity of the circle including all its traditions, leads or helps to leads the circle in songs, keeps crowd control and starts circle in a timely matter (usually best before food is put out). The goal is to have maximum participation in the circle and to express the importance of this ritual to hashes everywhere. The occasional smack down may be needed but respect is the most powerful tool. Duties also include making sure down down beer is ready (provided by the hares) and cups are available for those who are without, a special down down vessel is always a nice touch. It helps to be loud, fun and likable.
Current RAs: Shoots But Does Not Score
(SEND ON GEEK YOUR EMAIL) and Naughty Girl
(papamarko4@yahoo.c©m)
Beer Bitch:
This is the back-up to the hares. When the hares are unable to pick up a keg beer bitch picks up the slack and gets the Keg instead. Beer Bitch arranges for the bucket and tap to make it to the start so it can be given to the hares and as an added bonus they do not have to pay hash cash when they perform their duties. When Kegs are not required Beer Bitch is no better than any other hasher.
Current Beer Bitch: Mudd Butt (redtech116@yahoo.c©m)
Hash Haberdasher:
Sells the shirts, lanyards and other hump hash items before and after the hash, helps to arrange orders of new items and support the design of new orders with the rest of mismanagement, get freebies to those traveling to other hashes and generally force people into buying as much of our wonderful shit as possible.
Current Haberdashers: Pocket Pussy (rubber2theroad@yahoo.c©m) and Hello Clitty (angelfire_1489@yahoo.c©m)
Hare Raiser:
Fills the calendar with interested hares, keeping up the calendar so dates are filled well in advance. E-mail, call or otherwise discuss the role of hares to all hares who agree to take a date on the calendar. Bribe, beg, force, guilt or find other means of getting virgins and other slackers to pick up a date.
Current Hare Raiser: Captain Von Poopy Pants (munson502@hotmail.c©m)
Hash Cash:
Treasurer of the hash, before each hash they collect the hash cash, repay the hares up to $150, manage the hash account, pay for haberdashery stuff and give aways, deposit money and bitch at people who choose to pay in coins.
Current Hash Cash: Diamond in the Muff (care_correia@yahoo.c©m) with her sidekick Honey Bucket (Missiyoungblood_23@hotmail.c©m)
Hash Secretary:
Maintains the hash book and the running count of how many hashes each person has attended. At the start of each hash they sit with hash cash and sign in all the hashers as they pay. Once a month or so they update the spreadsheet with the count of each hashers and keep track of who has reached prize worthy numbers (10, 25, 50, 69, and 100). Hold the prizes and ensure that necklaces get made.
Current Hash Secretary: Diamond in the Muff (Diamond EMAIL ON GEEK©m) with her sidekick Honey Bucket (Missiyoungblood_23@hotmail.c©m)
Hash Ass:
This bimbo or wanker helps welcome visitors and virgins to the Hash and make them feel right at home, using whatever methods they have at their disposal.
Current Hash Ass: Can't Finish (shawnskilove@yahoo.c©m)
Hash Flash:
Recorder of all events using the hash digital camera (or passing it off to other willing photographers). Upload the pictures to flickr and then sending the link to the yahoo group e-mail. Some pictures may need to be edited or removed before posting due to nudity or crappy photo taking. Also required to charge the battery in advance of the hash so sad hashers are not left without memories because some jack ass forgot to do it.
Current Hash Flash: Trunk Monkee (trunk.monkee@yahoo.c©m)
On Geek:
Updates the website with counts of hashers, changes in guidelines, updates in mismanagement and adding new links when needed. Most difficult job in Mismanagement and we nabbed a real winner this time.
Current On Geeks: Mrs. Stink Goo Spots
(shwilliams4@gmail.c©m)
TGIF Coordinator:
Coordinates TGIF. Every friday the hashers go out for happy hour because we just can't get enough of each other. The TGIF coordinator selects a lucky Portland bar where we unwind and talk about our day.
Current TGIF Coordinator: Can't Finish (shawnskilove@yahoo.c©m)
The Mismanagement of PH4 serve a one year term of office
The 2009-2010 Mismanagement have played Musical Chairs and switched positions. Some of 2008-2009 Mismanagement lost their *sses when the music stopped. Leave their sore behinds alone. The 2007-2008 Mismanagement have left the room for a post coital sandwich. The 2006-2007 Mismanagement are snoring after that round of fun. The 2005-2006 Mismanagement are still suffering orgasm regret.
Founders of The Portland Humpin' Hash House Harriers
This hash was brought to you on March 21st, 2001 by:
PBS, Barely Manbelow,
Skinny Bitch, the letters A, S & S and the number 69.
The email addresses given above require you to correct the highlighted deliberate errors such as © as an anti-spam measure.